hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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