i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
