the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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