I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
