We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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