I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
