i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
