Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
