I hate your face
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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