now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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