Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
