I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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