oh god the rape fog is back!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
