I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
