Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i came on her dog
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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