try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
thus making me awesome and them whores
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
