You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
