So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
