...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
