Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
