the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
