you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
