In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
