i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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