drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
