you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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