he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
