Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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