I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
im on a boat
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