well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Quick, to the slutcave!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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