quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
