if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
