worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
