we have officially lost it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize