I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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