So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
