We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
