What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
