Rock
Scissors
Fuck
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
