cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
