So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
