That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
