I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize