did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
