I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
