Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
