Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
