This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
