Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
