i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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