We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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