I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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