literally had 100 drinks last night.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
