Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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