I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
