She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
