So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize