Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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