Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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