Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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