i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Congratulations! We have a period
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