i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Life without a bra equals bliss.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
