I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
