you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
