bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
