i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
