who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
