Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize