Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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