I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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